I bring in some income. I tend to my boy's needs. I endure my husband's new guitar obsession. I cook once in awhile. I keep the furballs cleaned out of the corners of our house. I do daydream a lot while driving the short distance between preschool and my part-time job and home; however, I don't smoke or loiter in dive bars or even drink caffeine until I'm hyperventilating anymore. So I feel mighty entitled to some real screw-off time.

I spend a little of this "me" time on TIMOTHY MCSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY. It's mostly irrelevant, wonderfully smart, and incredibly sarcastic fun, and the short reads fit right in with my screw-off schedule. Some of my favorite reads include: Open letter to people or entities who are unlikely to respond, Lists, and Short imagined monologues.

Enjoy reading a few of the funniest bits (in my opinion) and screwing off on the site:

An open letter to the manufacturers of infant sleepwear.

An open letter to that mother on the sidelines of my daughter's soccer game.

An open letter to the couple who found my panties in their yard last summer.

What thoreau is missing.

Things koala bears would say.

Things my family prefers over gay marriage

Reasons we can't have a baby, honey.