New Year's Resolution #1
posted by Amy
As a new mother, I spent a remarkably depressing amount of time justifying my parenting choices to myself and others. I was so damn scared of screwing up with this baby I loved so much that I clung to black-and-white views of parenting. Co-sleeping=good parenting. Cribs=bad parenting. And so on.
Having a second baby changed my view a bit. Our daughter is a little calmer than my son, and it showed from the moment she was born. Unlike Henry, who screamed if he wasn't being held, Josie actually screamed at times because she was being held. Turned out my parenting philosophy could best be described as "whatever gets us all the most sleep," not "attachment parenting come hell or high water."
Marrit Ingman has a great post up about the ways parents deal with babies and sleep that's so worth the two minutes it'll take you to read it. Marrit writes:
People do what they have to do to get through their days and nights as a parent. It's private business, and we have to trust each other to make the choices that are right for our own individual families. I will never, ever advocate a particular parenting method because that is up to particular parents. The only lesson to be learned from all of this uproar is that children are as different from one other as adults are, and there are a bunch of different ways to raise them. They will tell you what they need. You will listen to them. You will be flexible enough to try different things: get the baby in the bed if it appears to be the Right Thing for Her; take the baby out if it appears to be the Right Thing for Her. And you don't have to account for your choice to anyone--not your pediatrician, not your neighbors, not the people in your playgroup. No. One. Ever. That is instinctive parenting: When you set yourself free from "the experts" and make a choice based on listening to yourself and your family.
Amen to that, mama.