Now that the holidays are coming to an end, I thought I would share with you one of the most favorite things I have done for my grandchildren. It takes time so you would have to start now to give it next year. I call it a memory book—you write in a journal weekly or daily or as often as you like.

It started when my first granddaughter was born. Since all the extended family lives in the area, it dawned on me that, if I was to have her all to myself, I would need to find a time just the two of us could bond. So I took off a day a week just for me and my granddaughter. As we were sharing our time, I decided to write some memories down that she could read later and maybe even to her children or grandchildren. I wrote a weekly chapter during her first year and gave it to her on her first birthday. I shared what I thought about being a grandma, some funny stories, and family history. After a couple months, I realized I would need a plan in order to keep up with the journal. I also had a difficult time writing directly into the journal, so I started doing my weekly entries on the computer and moving them to longhand so they would have my handwritten version.

I mapped out the weeks and assigned each week to a person or topic to write about—one week I talked about my father's family, his sisters and brothers and parents. Then it was my mother's turn—Ruthanne's great-grandmother—some more aunt and uncle memories filled the pages. I used holidays or birthdays to talk about a special person—her Aunt Sheri, her father, her grandfather, and how we met. Here is a clip I wrote to Ruthanne about her mother:

May 11, 2001
Your mom—she is a special part of our family. The first time we met her we went to Oceanside—it was grandpa's birthday weekend and we rented the house where Top Gun was filmed. Then she had long curly hair, and I thought she was the most gorgeous woman I'd seen—it turns out she is as gorgeous inside as outside.

We are so lucky that she was willing to live in Sacramento—away from her family. Your mom didn't realize how much you were going to change her life—both she and your daddy know you are a most special little girl. Sometimes it will be hard for you—being the oldest, having two parents who didn't get into any trouble as children or teenagers, but I guarantee you will be happy and loved and respected and listened to! And all that is ahead of you.

Some weeks I just filled the journal with some favorite poetry we read or songs we sang, or I just told her how special it was for me to be her grandmother. Eventually I did the same for my grandson Clyde. His memory book had "a plan" from the beginning—using the basic outline I had used on Ruthanne's. Again, I talked about family, like in this excerpt:

October 28, 2003:
Just three more days until Halloween. Think you are dressing up as a skeleton—what will you be next year?

I don't want to not talk about Grandpa's family. We never lived close to them so Grandpa will have to tell you stories—just ask him. Grandpa was the middle son of a middle son. His cousins were all boys—no sisters and girl cousins—which I always felt bad about. Your Great Grandpa Reed was born and lived in Northfield, Massachusetts all of his life. Grandma Reed moved there with her mom and brothers after her father died when she was young. She was a nurse when she grew up and took good care of people. She also taught grandpa how to take care of himself—and I loved her for that. Grandpa's brothers are: Russell Ernest and Douglas Arden).

Clyde's journal is also filled with fun memories we made together like:

September 23, 2003:
Today we were sitting in the kitchen eating lunch—when you just started smiling and laughing. I thought someone must be outside the big window so I looked around—no one was there, but you did it again. This time when I turned I noticed there was a picture on the table of you and your mom.

That is what you were so excited about! It made me feel so good!

Another time I included a favorite poem by Shel Silverstein:

Hug o' War

I will not play at tug o'war.
I'd rather play at hug o'war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

So often with multiple children and grandchildren down the line—it's not that you love them any less—but your time gets stretched thin because you want to keep the special relationships with the oldest grandchildren and still build a bond with newest arrivals. That is why I gave a blank journal to my last grandchild for her first birthday and am writing it during our second year together. At first I was upset and mad at myself that I hadn't done for her what I had done for the others, but I finally realized that it didn't matter when I wrote her journal, what mattered was that I did it for her and with her.

I loved writing the journals as much as giving them; it made me take some time to remember family and favorite stories, and it gave me a chance to stretch those tiny moments with each of them into something that will last a long time. Try it for next year.