I started Isabella in kindergarten when she was 4 1/2. It was a hard decision to make, but she seemed ready for a new experience and new stimuli. I also knew a lot of other fall babies who would start at the same young age at her school. About half way through the year I lost my job, so I started volunteering in the class a few hours a week.

The conditions I found were disheartening. The teacher was wonderful; the classroom, campus and principal gross. Izzy was one of four kids that took 80% of the teacher's energy. Two had problems; two were simply hyper (Izzy). She was simply too young to sit still and be quiet for more than 20 seconds.

I hated the curriculum. All they did was study what they would be tested on, and nothing else really mattered. The teacher said she disliked Open Court as much as I did, but she had to teach it, and she had heard the distributor of Open Court was a buddy of the Bush administration. I have no idea if it's true, but it sounds about right. There was very little art, music, art supplies or support staff for the class. The amount of menial work the teacher had to perform to keep the class running was daunting.

The grounds of her school looked crappy and run down, and her room had rats. About six months into the school year an exterminator and cleaning crew had to come in and close the classroom a couple of days to kill the rats. Apparently CAL OSHA had to get involved because their waste was in the air ducts. The principal was smarmy and ineffectual and dated a couple of the moms. He lasted one year before being let go.

This was my first year in the public school system. Honestly, my expectations were not that high going into it. Had I continued to work full time, I most likely would have never noticed how badly it sucked. It was disappointing on so many levels I don't know where to start, but what comes to mind first is every time the budget needs cutting, school funds are the first to go. It's so wrong. I don't care if we spend more than other states; we aren't spending enough here. Funding based on test scores is warping the priorities of teaching what's best for children as individuals. What makes me sick is the teachers, people who are shaping our children not only intellectually but emotionally, are paid crap and given an insulting amount of money and support to run their classrooms.

Teachers should be worshiped. Attitudes, when it comes to acknowledging their importance in our kids' lives and futures, are messed up. If people think it doesn't affect them because they have no kids or their kids are grown, they're high. Our schools are shameful. Not all teachers are good, of course. There are a couple of math teachers I still dream of punching in the head, but when you look at it honestly, these kids are spending more waking time with their teachers than a parent working full time. I'm personally very grateful and wish they were treated better.

Before I had children of my own, I had a boss who I liked very much but considered a snob. One day as he told me about going through the application process to get his son into a private school in our area. I thought to myself, "Of course, public school isn't good enough for his family." After Izzy's year in kindergarten, I went and looked at his fancy school. I expected snobby little children in pressed clothes who looked at me like a maid. To my surprise, they looked like regular kids. They were dirty, their hair was messy, and their clothes disheveled. They were running and playing and pretending to wipe snot on each other. I filled out an application.

It costs about $1,500 a month to send a child to this school. Some parents have three kids at the school at a time! I filled out hours of paperwork regarding my dismal finances to prostrate myself for money. I have learned I am not too proud to beg when it comes to my daughters, and I re-fill out the forms every year. I pay a fraction of the full fee.

This year I had a nervous breakdown to get the money. Six months into my separation from the girls' father, as our communication sank to new a low, he refused to give the school his financial information by the deadline set. I was refused aid due to lack of information. I swallowed my pride, called them and told them I was a single parent, words I never wanted to say to anyone I don't know in a business office, and then I cried my eyes out.

Is it worth it? A million times yes. I am so happy with the school and so grateful Izzy is there.

Before we started the new school, I worried about diversity. Would there be other brown kids, other poor kids, other kids whose dads are having some sort of mid-life crisis and living in New York doing god knows what? I'm sure it will come in to play as the girls get to the age of being catty, but so far everyone has been so nice. The parents, the children, the administration have never once made me feel weird. The ironic part is there are more shades of skin color at this fancy private school than there was in our neighborhood public school.

So every morning I am up at the ass crack of dawn, drive Ruby to her school and walk her in, drive Izzy to her school and drop her off, and drive to work. I'm mentally done with my day before I even log onto my computer. Again, is it worth it? Hell yes. They're going to pay for my nursing home, right? In all seriousness, if this gives them opportunities to expand their hearts and minds, even if it's in the narrow environment of a school where most people make more in a month that I do in a year, hell yes, it is worth it. Is it teaching me to expand my mind too, because as open minded as I fancied myself, I was still afraid of rich people? Hell yes. Are they getting the best education I can possibly give them—even if it is by the skin of my teeth every month? Hell yeah. I just filled out an application for Ruby for next year.